Lost
by WalyaNaylaKayla
Summary: Massie Block talks about the thing she regrets the most. One shot.


I took a deep breath to calm myself before I made my way up to the front of the room. Careful not to spill any tears, I started to speak.

_"I was always a selfish person, and I knew that. But this is the first time I ever wished I could take it all back." I started with a strong voice, reading off a note card that I wrote the day before."I knew that every day I was losing time with him, but I didn't feel like I was, since he was there." I smiled humorlessly. "He was there. He was always there for me." My voice cracked. "Out of everyone... I knew that he loved me. I knew he would do anything for me." I was shaking, tears dripped off my face. "And I would do anything for another moment with him." By now I was sobbing. "I just wish I had a chance to tell him." I couldn't finish. I was crying way too hard. I stepped off the stage and back into the arms of my loved ones."I love you dad." _

That was the day Derrick Harrington dumped me for Dylan Marvil.

_"Massie," Derrick wrapped me in his arms after dad was buried. I wrapped myself around him, sobbing into his shoulder. "Massie," He repeated, his voice cracking slightly. "Massie we need to talk." _

That was the last time I saw him until May.

_"Massie." Claire punched me in the arm as I flirted with the cute bartender. I ignored her. "Mass." She punched me again, her voice laced with urgency._

_"Ow! What?" I hissed at her, flashing a smile at the bartender again. Tom? Tim? Whatever, it didn't matter._

_"Derrick!" She snapped. My chest sank automatically. _

_"You're such a downer." I glared at her for bringing him up._

_"He's right there!" She pointed to a tall man who was making his way towards us. _

_I stared, frozen at the sight of him, until he got a little too close. "Move!" I shoved Claire, as I rushed away hastily._

_I could lose him at the dance floor._

_"Block!" Derrick called out to me. I walked faster. "Massie!" A large hand grabbed my arm. I pulled it back sharply. "Don't touch me." I demanded icily._

_"Massie, please. I need to talk to you." He pleaded. Ha. Like I was going to fall for that again. I attempted another exit, but Derrick grabbed me again and carried me outside of the bar. Where the hell was Claire?_

_"What are you doing! Let me down!" I screamed going into hysterics. _

_"Block, please." He begged. _

_"What's wrong? Why are you here? Dylan not doing it for you anymore?" I screamed at him, unaware of the tears sliding down my cheek. _

_He reached out to grab my hand again. I pulled it back. He opened and closed his mouth half a dozen times. "Tell me." He whispered finally._

_Was he high? "Tell you what?" I spat._

_"Tell me how you felt when I left you." He looked down. "Tell me. I deserve it." The hell you do._

_But I didn't answer him. Seeing him was too hard. I ran away and out onto the street. I was embarrassed, and hurt. I tripped, stumbling to get the the other side._

I didn't even see it coming.

_"Massie!" Derrick shouted, running towards me. _

_"I'm fine!" I muttered bitterly. _

_Then everything went black._

* * *

_I woke up in a white room. A hospital room. "What happened?" I asked groggily. Claire was in the room, sleeping. _

_Then I remembered. __I remembered seeing Derrick at the bar. I remembered everything._

My knees went weak.

_"Derrick? Derrick?" I shouted frantically when I reached down the hall from my own. My hand flew to my mouth when I saw the man who saved my life._

It was all my fault.

_"Derrick?" I walked up to him. Almost his entire body was wrapped up, his face bruised. It broke my heart._

There was nothing I could do to help him.

_"Derrick..." I walked closer to him, remembering his_ _question_.

_"I... hated you. I thought you loved me. You always loved Dylan more I guess. It was because I wanted to get married wasn't it?" I asked the question that I've been wondering for the last five months. Too bad he couldn't answer. "I waited for you to come back." The tears were out. "I was lonely without you." I was full on sobbing. " I wanted you to love me like I loved you. I wanted to be with you!" I cried out, not even sure if he could hear me. "Derrick wake up!" I shouted._

I could never hated you.

_"Don't leave me again."_

"Derrick Harrington died that night, pushing me away from a sliding car. I later found out he had cancer. That's what he wanted to tell me. He left me because he knew... he was going... to d-die." I wiped my tears. I needed to stay strong. For Derrick. I needed to let all of these people know that he wasn't the jerk who dumped me at my dad's funeral. "He loved me. He left me... because he loved me. He didn't want me to get hurt again."

I resisted saying that his efforts were wasted. "But... he was the love of my life."

And I didn't even get tell him I love him.

Because the worst part of saying goodbye...

Is never being able to say hello again.

* * *

**I'm actually really proud of this, tell me what you think! But please resist from saying anything about what a bummer this one-shot was.**


End file.
